“Bitch Better Have My Money”: Nobody’s Knocking Queen Rihanna Off The Top

by Mikey Xi • Jul 1, 2015 • Entertainment, Female Celebs, Gifs, Music, Music Video, Pop Culture, Rihanna, Video • Comments (82) • 9537

#Unapologetic Queen Rihanna‘s “Bitch Better Have My Money” is one of 2015’s hardest club bangerz and trap queen anthems. Filled with instantly iconic quotes like “yayo yayo” or “brrap brrap brrap,” the second-or-maybe-third single off of #R8 (alternatively titled we R w8ing) is just a testament to the stars power, sounding equal parts a declaration of one’s bad bitchosity and an ominous threat.

So it’s only appropriate that the video reflects that mood, right?

The music video for “Bitch Better Have My Money,” directed by Megaforce and Rihanna herself, is a mini-masterpiece in the Barbadian singer’s lengthy career. It’s a far cry from her last low-key low-budget video for “FourFiveSeconds,” but fear not, Rih Rih is still very much about her money, and y’all bitches better have it.

The short film begins with a woman (who totally looks like a bitch) getting dolled up for the day before kissing her man goodbye. She exits her expensive looking penthouse entering the elevator, occupied by a lone Rihanna and a huge chest (like a suitcase, stop staring at her boobs), looking nothing short of fierce.

When the doors open back up, The Bitch is trapped in the luggage, ready to be taken on the ride of her life. To be honest, if somebody walked into an elevator and didn’t recognize me as Rihanna, I would be pissed too. After a breezy drive down the highway, she finds herself hanging upside down topless in an abandoned warehouse, I mean we already knew Rihanna was into a little BDSM. And okay, I guess you can stare at her boobs now.

We also have a little glimpse of what the Battleship star does on her off days, kidnap bitches and take them on cruises apparently…

And have little countryside beach picnics, politely waving at polite cops passing by…

And of course a little dip in the pool never hurt anybody after a long night of turning up to Rihanna while the entire squad fucking wasted.

But at the very end of the day, bad bitches really do have to be about their business. We arrive at a mansion with The Bitch left in her trunk as the camera pans to reveal… Dr. Hannibal Lecter as Mads Mikkelsen as The Bitch’s Husband as Possibly Based On Real Life Person The Accountant A.K.A. The Actual Bitch. Incredible. Turns out The Actual Bitch has been the villain the whole time, ignoring calls and draining her of her funds. Leaving her nothing with a measly $420 in her account. Rihanna’s really coming for blood now, literally.

All’s well that ends well. What did we learn today fam? Rih calls the shot shot shots. Bitch got her money, now she’s laying victorious in her cash, breathing in that good old… erm, American oxygen.

“BBHMM” is a visual triumph: a mix of cheeky, sassy, and overall badassery. Rihanna has mastered the art of music videos, and is sure to impress everybody with this new release. Now just one last thing: Bitch better have her VMA.

“Bitch Better Have My Money” was released on March 26, 2015 (iTunes)
Gifs: Brandon Joseph/Poison Paradise

about the author: Mikey Xi

Mikey Xi, elusive bloguse with an unapologetic passion for all things pop and speaks of Britney Spears as if she is a close and intimate friend of his.